Mind blank at your GP? How to prepare for your menopause appointment

Lightly edited for readability.

You’ve been waiting weeks for your appointment. You’ve been thinking about it in the shower, and in the car at 3am. You walk in, you sit down, and the doctor says, what brings you in today? And your mind goes blank. Because what do you say? You might say, I just haven’t been feeling great. Or you might pour out everything at once. Then ten minutes later you’re back in your car thinking, I didn’t say that, and I didn’t say that. If that’s you, this episode is for you.

I’m Sharryn Ludlow, and I’m the founder of Menopause Resource Hub. I’m not a doctor, but I am the woman in the car who can’t remember what she just said in the appointment. I want to talk about this so that next time you actually feel heard. You’ll know what to book, what to bring, what to say, and what to do if it doesn’t go well the first time.

In the first episode, I told you about the doctor who was Googling my symptoms in front of me. What I didn’t tell you about was what happened before that. I’d been having regular check-ups for years, like we all do. Blood tests, mammograms, general health and observation. But after all of this happened, I realised that not once had anyone brought up perimenopause or menopause with me. I was well and truly into my 40s and heading towards 50, and nobody talked to me about it.

So when my symptoms started, I didn’t connect them. I put it down to getting older, or stress, or just life as a woman. By the time I actually saw someone, I’d had symptoms for months. And I poured everything out to this poor GP, all at once, in no particular order.

I get it now, having been on this side and talked to so many of them. The person on the other side of the desk has to take everything you’ve said, filter it through a clinical lens, and come back with something that helps you, in a few minutes. That’s a real skill, and it’s a difficult task. We’re living the symptoms. From their side, they need the facts. What I’ve come to understand is that if we prepare a little before we go, it helps bridge that gap.

I’ve also learned that nobody is going to bring this up for us. We have to be advocates for our own health. Our health is part of our whole life. It isn’t a separate department while we get on with other things, because it affects everything. So we need to build our own knowledge, advocate for ourselves and understand it as best we can, and that means working out how to be ready for the appointment so we get the most out of it.

The first thing I want to talk about is how to book a menopause appointment with a GP. When you call the clinic, ask for a menopause health assessment. Say those exact words. There’s now an actual Medicare item for it. It’s a dedicated appointment of at least 20 minutes, and it has to be in person. It can’t be telehealth. Think about it: a standard appointment built for a sore throat isn’t designed to help you in the same way. If the clinic doesn’t know what you’re talking about, that tells you something, and you might want to find another clinic.

So you’ve booked your appointment. How do you prepare, and what do you bring? Sit down and start with your symptoms. All of them. Every single one, even if you don’t think it’s relevant or don’t know how it could be. Write down what’s going on in your body. Some women can rattle it all off. Some of us need time to put two and two together. You might be making dinner and suddenly think, last week I put the keys in the fridge. Or, I’ve been getting cramps in my legs in the middle of the night, and that’s odd. I don’t know if it’s related. Write it down.

The point isn’t to diagnose yourself. You’re observing what’s going on and writing it down in one place. It helps build the picture for the doctor, because it’s their job to look at all of those things together.

Next, look at those symptoms and think about when they started. Was it today? Three weeks ago? A year ago? Jot down a rough timeline from memory, because it gives the doctor context. If you’ve already thought about it, you’re not sitting there trying to remember while the doctor waits.

So you’ve got your symptoms and when they started. The extra piece that’s really powerful in the room is how it’s affecting your life. Your sleep, your work, your relationships, your mood, the rage that comes out of nowhere that nobody talks about. Write that down. What impact are these things having on your life? Because when it’s on paper, it’s much harder for someone to tell you it’s just stress. You’re not just saying you don’t feel great. You’re showing them that it’s actually costing you something.

Once you’ve thought it through, with the context and the impact, write down your questions. The things that are actually on your mind. Narrow them down to about three, the top questions you need a specific answer to in that first appointment.

I see a lot of conversations in Facebook groups and other places where women are talking to each other because they’re not getting answers from their GPs. They’ve been disappointed with their care, so they’re turning to each other for advice on symptoms, medications and all sorts of things. That can be really lovely, and also a little bit scary, because in our frustration we can end up in a difficult spot. I’m not saying it’s all bad. I’m saying that preparing for the way forward is more positive for us. We’re advocating for ourselves.

So bring your questions and your thought-through experience so far. What’s going on, how it’s affecting you, and what you want to know. Then you can lead from your notes in the room. You can hand them over, or read them as a summary before the conversation goes anywhere. And while they’re talking, write down the answers.

You could even ask if you can record it on your phone so you don’t forget. Because let’s face it, as soon as you walk out of the room you think, they said something about a vitamin, what was it again? We forget. So ask: I’d like to keep a record, can I record our conversation for my own private use? When you build up your own record, you can keep track of what’s happening, the impact, how things are changing, and whether something has helped or not.

Those notes can then be used with anyone, even if you end up seeing a different provider or trying something completely different. You have a record of what you’ve done, what’s been suggested and a path forward. It’s part of your own advocacy and knowledge. When I’ve spoken to some of the providers, they’ve said how helpful it is to share notes. A naturopath, for example, might receive notes from the doctor and share theirs back, so that everyone is on the same page. And you don’t want to remove yourself from that process.

The unfortunate part is that not every appointment will go well. Sometimes you’ll feel dismissed. There are women who go in and ask, is it perimenopause, and are told no, you’re too young. Or no, your periods haven’t stopped, so it can’t be that. Which isn’t right. The more we know, the more we can speak up in that situation.

But if that happens, it’s not the end of it. So I want to give you permission, if you need it: go to a different clinic. See a different doctor. Maybe even try a different kind of practitioner. Feeling unheard doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be heard. Don’t let yourself be dismissed, especially if your symptoms are real, they’re building up and you need answers. You might just have to try a few doors to get there. And hopefully, with what we’re building at Menopause Resource Hub, we can make that easier, so you don’t waste time with people who aren’t focused on what you need at this stage of your life.

In the next episode, I’ll be sharing a conversation I had with a GP who focuses on menopause. When I talked to her about all this preparation, she said that was fantastic, and that if more people came in like that, it would really help.

I’ve also created the Appointment Ready Workshop, which is on Menopause Resource Hub. It’s free. There’s a video where I talk you through it, and some downloads, including a symptom tracker and an impact statement. You can keep them on your phone or download and print them, so you have a record. The link is in the show notes.

Dr Daya is the GP who’ll be joining me in the next episode. She has looked after women in gynaecology and menopause for many years, and it’s lovely to hear how she cares for women in this space and what she recommends. She’s on the other side of the desk, and she’ll tell you what actually helps her help you. I’ll see you in the next episode.